Win a 2009 Golf Privilege Club Membership Book!

With more than 500 discounts, the Lung Association 2009 Golf Privilege Club Membership Book is the largest golf discount program in Western Canada. Discounts are found in Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Alberta, British Columbia, and Washington. If you're like the average golfer you'll pay for the $35 cost with just one or two uses and continue saving hundreds of dollars throughout the season. You can win one of six copies of the 2009 edition this winter by telling me the number of discounts to save@saskgolfer.com. Try today!

Weir tops $3 Million

It was a very good year - not his best - if you're Canadian superstar Mike Weir. Weir earned just over $3 million US this season, the second best take of his career after winning almost $5 million in 2003. Weir managed eight top-10s overall, with six of those coming in the last eight events of the season. It's the fourth year in the last five when he didn't win a tournament. One more win on the PGA Tour would make Weir the Canadian golfer with the most wins in history, exceeding George Knudson. Go Mike Go!www.mikeweir.com

	What's the most pathetic excuse for playing a lousey golf game? It's too quiet out there I broke a fingernail. The squirrels were staring at me. I have a blister on my heel. The sun was in my eyes. My spikes need tightening. I forgot to eat. I was thinking too much, View results

The “Real” Opens

Quite possibly, especially if your round-bellied posse has a penchant for piss-ups and prizes, (at some hillbilly club slung between the canola fields) you’ll have played in a 2-day "Open" Championship. No, these aren’t the types of heralded events where Tigers lurk or teary-eyed dads watch their boys’ golfing dreams come true. Not at all.

These are messy, one-pair-of-underwear-for-the-entire-weekend affairs where the women stay away, the men belch openly and often, and the golf gets sloppy. Very sloppy. But that’s what these weekend chop-fests are all about. Being real. Being stupid. Having fun. Loading up on laughs. These are the "real" Opens.

And, most likely, you have your favorite "tour stop." Golden? Taber? Weyburn? Your choices are endless. Regardless of where you play, your "Open" experience is bound to be exceedingly different than the more famous ones (you know, the British, US, etc.) where the competitors get the life sucked out of them rather than back into them. At any rate, you know you’re at a REAL Open championship when:

1. A small group of competitors gather in the bushes beside the 9th green and smoke something that looks like a cigarette, only it smells completely different and, afterwards, makes them talk kinda funny.
2. At the prize presentation the top sandbaggers in each flight are bombarded with cheers and jeers – and rewarded with cordless drills, beer fridges, rain jackets, and a smattering of golf gear that the pro has been dying to get rid of for 15 years.
3. The fair-skinned fat guy with the first degree sunburn (who drank 14 pints of Moosehead for dinner) passes out in the flowerbed beside the first tee while watching the long drive competition.
4. One particular competitor - who started the round severely hungover then got completely re-wasted as the day progressed - fires a shank-filled 79 on the back nine to make him the talk of the tournament.
5. Out of 132 participants, just 43 actually make a visit to the driving range prior to teeing off.
6. For various reasons, a total of 18 players either completely miss or show up late for their tee times the second day. Some of them, after "buying back in" (a case of beer for the pro), are squeezed into play here and there, but most of them find redemption on the outdoor patio.
7. 30% of the field is considerably intoxicated by the time they’ve finished their first 6 holes. At 9 holes the figure jumps to 50%. At 18 holes it’s a somewhat disturbing 92%.
8. The overall winner, a former pro from Moose Jaw (he says), shoots 2 under for the weekend, but much to the disappointment of the locals, he stays sober throughout the entire tournament. After he receives his prizes (a leather Lazy-boy recliner, a dozen balls, and a Titleist driver), he quickly loads up his goods and squeals out of town.
9. A self-centered loser keeps blaming his playing partners for throwing him off his game. Later on that evening he is seen hanging upside down from a tree beside the seventh green. The superintendent, while checking on sprinklers, discovers the sobbing fool and lowers him to safety.
10. By mid-afternoon on Sunday the entire golf facility is sold out of beer. The General Manager, who is drunk on the 15th tee, receives a desperate call from the Clubhouse Manager, who is drunk in the clubhouse. An emergency call is placed to the Molson rep and more cold beer arrives in plenty of time for the closing prizes.

(A couple of these scenarios are based on real events. Well, ok...most of them.)

Humorist Andrew Penner writers for a number of golf publications across North America. Reach him at andpenner@shaw.ca

Two NCAA graduates

The Canadian Junior Golf Association is proud to present its list of graduates to the collegiate ranks for the 2008/2009 season. In all, 44 past CJGA participants, including two from Saskatchewan, will compete at the NCAA level this season.

“Canadian junior golfers are entering the collegiate ranks with loads of tournament experience under their belt,” admitted Earl Fritz, Executive Director of the CJGA. “It’s no surprise that collegiate coaches are recognizing the contributions that Canadians can make at the next level. We’re very proud of our alumni and wish them all the best in the classroom and on the links.”

The two graduates Saskatchewan graduates are Kelsey Klatt of Fort Qu’appelle, SCAD (NAIA) and Michael Hiltz of Coronach, University of the Southwest (NAIA).

Thoughts about golf

• Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.
• Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks
• Golf is harder than baseball In golf, you have to play your foul balls.
• If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
• Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.
• The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'maul it again.'
• A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers . . . neither of whom can putt very well.
• An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.
• Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all your game really stinks.
• If your best shots are the practice swing and the gimme putt', you might wish to reconsider this game.
• Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.
• Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.
• The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

Byron Harvie elected as the SGA President

The SGA welcomes its newest president of the association. The SGA Board of Directors following the Fall Semi-Annual meeting on Oct. 25, 2008 in Regina elected Byron Harvie of the Riverside Country Club the SGA President. Harvie becomes the 8th President of the SGA since the 1999 amalgamation of the men's and women's organizations. Harvie replaces Randy Stefan of Regina who served as the SGA President for the past 2 years.

Dave Forster of Tisdale Riverside Golf Club and Joe Trudelle of the Wascana Country Club were elected as Vice Presidents of the SGA.

Ames at success

Stephen Ames, the 44-year-old PGA Tour pro, is dropping $2.5 million on a new home in Calgary. Considered one of the last estates within the city limits, the 12,000-square-foot home is located in Aspen Estates.

The gorgeous home includes a wine storage area, a Nike area (his sponsor), sauna, media room, trophy room, golf simulator area, and pretty much anything else essential to a PGA top tier player - all over three levels.

Ames has earned more than $15 million in his 12 year year career. He will take possession of his new digs spring 2009.

Simple as 1-2-3

When you practice and play you may have a 1,001 swing thoughts in your head. The result is your body becomes tense and you flub your shots. Try just concentrating on your hands and everything else will take care if itself.

To help keep your ball in play, pick a target on the horizon to aim at. Aim for a specific tree, a tower a hill, anything that will help you align yourself to a specific target.

Yards alone is not enough. After you’ve figured out the yards to the pin, figure out the effect of the wind, the placement of the pin, whether you’re hitting uphill or down, and the results of hitting short or long. Make this routine part of every shot.

Next year country for Eger and DeLaet

Regina’s Kent Eger advanced to the final stage of PGA Tour’s qualifying school in December but failed to secure his card in the grueling event.

The Canadian Tour rookie-of-the-year Eger shot 72-75-77-71-73-7-423 to finish well back in the field of 163 hopefuls at La Quinta, Calif. The 27-year-old won the Canadian Tour’s Seaforth Country Classic In August to earn a spot at Q-school. There was no Canadian that earned their Tour card.

The top 25 and ties of the final stage earned PGA Tour cards for 2009. The remainder of the field at least get part-time status on the Nationwide Tour.

Graham DeLaet reached the 2nd stage of the PGA Tour Qualifying after finishing T19 at Dayton Valley CC in Nevada. Graham competed in the 2nd stage Nov. 12-15 but failed to advance.

ScoreGolf.com Peter Robinson stated “Graham DeLaet, a player many feel is Canada’s best golfers at the moment.” Great news for one of our own. For the complete audio story please use the following check out: http://scoregolf.com/videOn-at-Q-School.

Anyone for Tee?

There’s snow on the ground, the wind is howling and last season is rapidly becoming a distant memory. It’s almost the silly season - what better time to reviewwww.anyonefortee.com, a perfectly wacky British website for the ordinary golfer.

Take first instance, the story “The First Oh Hell.” They write, “You know that feeling of catching one thin with an iron on a cold winter's day? The sting in the hands is enough to make the most saintly golfer utter a heartfelt curse, and echoes down the ages to a lonely Roman soldier patrolling Hadrian's Wall.” So you follow the picture of Hadrians Wall where you will find a goofy poem (with musical accompaniment).

If you prefer outright silly, there’s always Harry Putter. They write, “Anyone For Tee has exclusive world rights to K.T. Chipping's "Harry Putter and the Professional's Spoon", the story of the young boy with the magical touch who is fated to take on the evil dark golfer Vandeveld. Read all about Harry's adventures at Doglegs School of Golfing and Greencraft.”

Prefer to have your horoscope told? There ’Anyone for Tee's Horoscopes: You may not be a star at golf, but your next round is written in the stars. “Is this a good time to enter the monthly medal play? Which clubs will be working for you and which should you avoid? Who are your famous fellow golfers?s “Tee’s Horoscope.”

Anyone for tee? is heartily recommended for the silly season, heck anytime of season. It’s Duffers Golf Club world-wide membership is restricted to duffers, but not hackers. i.e. If you cheat when no-one is looking...If you swear out loud on the golf course... If you throw, kick, beat or break your clubs in anger... If your playing partners have ever been ashamed to be out with you...If you do not know, or do not apply, Section I of the Rules of Golf (Etiquette)...

Congratulations to Sask CPGA

Congratulations to Brad Birnie, SGA Coach for being named the CPGA – Teacher of the Year. Brad has completed his first year as being the SGA Coach.

Here is the complete list of winners for 2008:

1. Graham Coulter Trophy Professional Of The Year - McLaren Taylor – Dakota Dunes Golf Links
2. Assistant Of The Year - Bryan Holoboff – Saskatoon Golf & C.C.
3. Teacher Of The Year - Brad Birnie – Moonlake Golf & C.C.
4. Junior Promoter Of The Year - Jeff Chambers – Elmwood G. & C.C.
5. Facility Of The Year - Dakota Dunes Golf Links
6. Scott Knapp Trophy Player Of The Year - Dean Brown– Royal Regina G.C.
7. Peter Cushner Trophy Leader Order of Merit - Dean Brown – Royal Regina G.C.
8. Frank Fowler Trophy Lowest Stroke Average - Dean Brown – Royal Regina G.C.
9. Bill Taylor Trophy Sportsmanship - Kevin Marushak – Silverwood G.C.

2009 Provincial Championships

The 2009 Provincial Championship schedule has been set for this year:

• July 6th – 9th SGI CANADA Saskatchewan Junior Women’s and Men’s Championships, Elmwood Golf & Country Club, Swift Current
• July 14th – 17th Saskatchewan Amateur Women’s and Mid-Amateur Men’s Championships, Evergreen Golf Course, Nipawin
• July 21st – 24th Saskatchewan Amateur Men’s Championship, Lloydminster Golf & Country Club, Lloydminster
• July 28th – 30th Saskatchewan Senior Women’s and Senior Men’s Championships, Deer Park Municipal Golf Course, Yorkton
• August 5th and 6th Saskatchewan Women’s Rosebowl Championship, Lynbrook Golf & Country Club, Moose Jaw
• August 29th and 30th Saskatchewan Mixed Team Championship, Harbor Golf Club & Resort, Elbow

The Ultimate Golf Savings Book!

The Lung Association of Saskatchewan has produced an annual golf discount book since 1996. The number of participating Saskatchewan courses has grown from the original 36 to a whopping 500. Offers vary by course and include free and reduced green fees (2/1 and 4/3 etc.), free or discounted golf carts and 2/1 range balls.

Golfers traveling a bit further a field will be thrilled to find another new development to their liking. All four western provincial Lung Associations have joined forces and combined their offers into this one great book. With discounts at over 5450 courses across Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and British Columbia there are sure to be great courses along your route. There are also 36 bonus courses in Washington State.

The best surprise of all is that the book sells for only $35.00. The book's format has changed to accommodate the added courses with multiple listings per page. The Western Canada Golf Privilege Club book makes a great gift for any golfer on your list. It's something that will be enjoyed all summer long!

Visit www.golfandsave.ca and www.sk.lung.ca/golf for more details.

Therefore, I am nuts

“I Golf, Therefore I am Nuts” is a catchy title for a new book by popular golf humourist George Fuller especially after the season this writer (and many others of you) had this season.

The book delves into the “warped and obsessive mind of today’s golfer.” Whether our idea is an occasional round at the muni or frequent forays to flar-flung courses in search of the perfect round, you’ll identify with this book like no either.

“I Golf, Therefore I Am” - billed as a book about the wit, wisdom and why we keep teeing it up - makes light of the idiosyncrasies of otherwise sane people who are addicted to this holly, frustrating game.

Chapters range from “Looking for Mulligans: the patron saint of forgiveness,” to “Quirks, quips and superstitions from the PGA Tour”, and “Beam me out of the woods, Scotty.” At $17.95 for 225 pages, including clever sketches of idiot golfers, there’s great value here. And it will remind you why we play this game. It will bring you back for another season of laughter and punishment.

Top 10 New Year’s resolutions

• Make a hole in one (Remember what we said about luck).
• Take a golf trip. ( Most common destinations Scotland and Ireland).
• Go to the Masters ( Don’t wait for a gilded invite from Tiger).
• Learn to hit a bunker shot (Or any shot).
• Buy a new set of clubs (Preferably from Brad, the commissions are good).
• Lower the handicap (Meanwhile, pigs are flying).
• Take golf lessons (Buy five and use one, most people do).
• Practice more ( Typically forgotten by January 3).
• Break 100, 90, 80, or 70 for the first time ( Meanwhile, hell is freezing over).
• Lose weight (Golfers are people too, people who drink a lot of eggnog and rum).

Golf real estate still hot

A hot golf real estate market shows no signs of slowing done, as the Saskatchewan economy remains strong and aging Baby Boomers retire to the golf course. While some areas on the province have returned to a more balanced general real estate market, limited supply and increased demand continues to drive the golf real estate market.

From the native prairie, links-style courses of southern Saskatchewan to the majestic boreal forest and lake area of the North, there's a venue for everyone. With summer days away, now is the perfect time to check out real estate opportunities at such hotspots as Elk Ridge Resort, Northern Meadows Golf Resort and Candle Lake Golf Resort. MORE>>

Luxury at Elk Ridge Resort

Not only are golf course conditions the best in memory at this premiere four-season resort, Elk Ridge Resort has opened the new Elk Ridge Lodge featuring 34 deluxe guestrooms in June. Airline Hotels and Resorts Ltd. will oversee the operations of the golf course and of the new lodge in conjunction with all other accommodation options such as the chalet style cabins, townhouses and RV Park. MORE>>

Excuses for golfing

I couldn't golf when I was married, so any time is good now. I do all my praying on the course. I don't have a logo ball from that course. I don't have time for the driving range, but I have time to play 18. I enjoy driving the golf carts.

Amen Corner

"Great southpaw golfers are more scarce than a clean day in Los Angeles.”"

- Golf writer Joe Schwendeman

The award-winning SaskGolfer.com is for sale!

If you enjoy golf and meeting people, SaskGolfer.com is an ideal home-based business for you. The owner-operator is getting a little long in the tooth and plans to retire in the next couple of years, learn how to putt and play more golf. Serious inquiries may reply in confidence to Stan@saskgolfer.com